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How would you feel about licking my asshole ?
Posted:Apr 21, 2018 11:27 am
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2018 11:28 am

There's a profile I check out ever few weeks because the lady in said profile often posts new videos of herself masturbating while watching porn . I noticed today that she posted a video of herself masturbating while looking at a big plate of spaghetti on her TV . Which makes sense , she's a slender athletic type so she probably hasn't had a carb in decades . I often wonder about the maxim "Nothing tastes as good being in shape feels" because lots of things taste delicious .

In her honor on Tuesday I will buy a cake and then jerk off while staring at it .

If someone tells you to remind them to talk about a topic - and it's an important topic not something like "Remind me to look up who played Steve Martin's daughter in Father of the Bride when we get home" and you don't want to talk about it and you know they'll forget about it so you don't remind them ; how bad is that . It's clearly pretty low on the scale but is it like not signaling when you change lanes bad or more like when you "accidentally" brush up against a lady's chest on the bus bad ?

When someone attacks Wolverine and he kills them in "self-defense" that's not really okay right ? Because he knows they can't really damage him , let alone kill him . It's like when a little kid punches you in the junk , it hurts , but it's not justification for a homicide .

I haven't had much time to blog lately , I haven't had much time for anything . And I don't know why . Where does the time go ? I feel like at this point even if I could dupe some poor woman into dating me when would I see her ? I've got like 44 minutes free at 9:30 AM on Sunday , does that work ? And the confusing this is that I don't do anything , I go to work , I come home , I exercise , that's pretty much it . How can I have so little free time ?

I was shopping for a new treadmill (there's really nothing wrong with the one I have but it's 20 years old and I'm an American) and I noticed that the weight limit on a LOT of them is 220 pounds . That seems incredibly low .

The other day at work a guy walked into the bathroom and said "Here we go , lets do this thing , party time !" as he unzipped his fly and walked up the urinal . I have a couple theories about his excitement . One is that he's an alien in human form taking a piss for the first time . The next is that he's a transgender person and he's using his penis for the first time . And that's two theories , which is a couple .

Remember that episode of Star Trek The Next Generation where the guy who played the Rocketeer banged the lady who played Lois Lane ? I do . I love that episode as a kid because the cool guy was totally cool but as an adult it's pretty lame . The cool guy is clearly just what the nerds who write for sci-fi shows think a cool guy should be through adult eyes .

Wait 40 , I thought you had no time and yet now you're taking about watching episodes of Star Trek from 30 years ago . Touché blog reader , touché .

Also in the second time through watching Trek you notice how many characters appear in minor roles once and are never seen again - and this is because the showrunners didn't want to pay the very moderate fee you have to pay a writer to use a character they created . So basically the entire crew of the Enterprise aside from the main cast was turned over ever week .

Also when they brought in the Guinan character I wonder if Mirina Sirtis was pissed - because her character was literally the ship's counselor , people should have been coming to her for advice .

Did you know that Somali pirates are ultimate supported by a law firm in England ? I didn't . You see when the pirates hold a ship for ransom this law firm is the one that negotiates the deal and keeps most of the money , only a small amount goes to the pirates . And then said law firm makes sure the pirates have all the guns they need and know which ships to go after to keep the money flowing in .

It's unlikely at this point that I'll ever have sex regularly again . Most of the time I'm okay with that . Sometimes it bums me out though .
Februrary 1989
Posted:Apr 17, 2018 7:00 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2018 6:53 pm

Size DOES matter - 14 tricks for taking a massive cock WAY up your ass
Posted:Apr 16, 2018 6:29 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2018 6:54 pm

Sometimes I forget how far from reality the AFFverse is from the "real" world . The other day someone was expressing their utter shock and dismay that they came across a man who wanted to have sex with other men but said they were straight and that they wanted to guys they wanted to have sex with to be straight as well . So I says to him I says "I see that all the time online" because I do .

This morning I was reading a article about how to take care of your breasts when you got big ones (why ? shrug) and I got an erection . Which isn't great . But it's not like awful either . It's like a two . It's not what you want but it's not a big deal either .

If you stick around AFFblogtown long enough (see above) you discover there are people here that like having sex with animals . OR they want people to think they do . I often wonder which is worse , someone who wants to fuck a horse or someone who wants other people to THINK they want to fuck a horse to get attention . It's a conundrum .

Anyway , I'm sure none of those people read this blog of course , we're all nice and normal here , but I say this to you - if they ever get this Jurassic Park stuff figured out that has to be an exception right ? I mean there's morality and ethics and all that but who's going to turn down the chance to make love to a dinosaur ? I mean if you're not into it fine but I don't think we should judge in this SPECIFIC case . It like if you discover unicorns are real and they're DTF . You know ?

In 2005 Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt got divorced . It was a big deal . I'm sure you remember where you were when you found out about it . It was such a big deal that they broke into SportsCenter to talk about it - ALOT . They even formed a panel to talk about it and towards the end they asked the question who would "win" the breakup by having a better life afterwards . Almost everyone said Brad Pitt - which seemed reasonable , he was already a movie star and a male actor is going to get a lot more of career in Hollywood you know ? But there was one lone hold-out that insisted that Jennifer Anniston would do better without Brad . I always think it was JA Adande but it wasn't , it was another dude .

It seemed insane at the time . Brad Pitt was a star , Jennifer Aniston was just the girl from friends . But now 12 years later , you have to wonder , was that guy who wasn't JA Adande right ?

Let's check out the careers since then ;

Brad Pitt -

Babel (flop)
Assassination of Jesse James by the etc. (flop)
Ocean's Thirteen (meh)
Burn After Reading (garbage)
Benjamin Button (puke)
Inglorious Basterds (okay this one I'll give him)
Moneyball (baseball ? ugh)
World War Z (HUGE flop , in 2005 a zombie movie would have killed ! )
Fury (flop)
Allied (flop)
War Machine (meh)


Jennifer Anniston -

The Break-up (horrible)
Marly and Me (home run)
The Bounty Hunter (simply awful)
The Switch (suck)
Just Go with It (super suck)
Horrible Bosses (funny as balls)
Wanderlust (gross)
We're the Millers (funny as 2 sets of balls)
Horrible Bosses 2 (eh sequel)
Office Christmas Party (meh)

So Anniston wins that one 3-1 , also even famous actors make mostly shitty movies . That's some kind of inspirational something I guess .

Personal life -

Pitt - Married and divorced Angelina Jolie

Anniston - Married and divorced Justin Theroux

I call that a tie .

Net worth -

Pitt - 240 million

Anniston - 200 million

Obviously the edge is to Pitt but I feel like once you're in the 200 million club you're kind of good to go regardless

Celebrity friends -

Pitt - George Clooney

Aniston - Kaley Cuoco , Selena Gomez , Miley Cyrus

Aniston by a landslide . All the stories I hear about Clooney and his "practical jokes" he just sounds like a legitimate asshole . You know why Richard Kind always looks like he's about to jump off a bridge ? Because George Clooney torments him relentlessly .

So there you have it , Jennifer Anniston won . But in another more real way she lost because she's a woman and his is America . Which hey , it's better than being a woman in Saudi Arabia but still this is no Norway you know ?

So anyway if you have heavy boobs the article I read says that you should wear a bra and drink lots of tea and massage those suckers to increase the circulation . Good luck .
Cash for dignity
Posted:Apr 10, 2018 5:55 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2018 5:53 pm

Much like "prima nocta" the historical evidence of "whipping boys" is virtually non-existent and most modern holars believe it to be fantasy .

time there was a show called Parks & Rec . The first season sucked a big hair dick and the last season sucked fifty big hair dicks but there were a couple seasons there in the middle that were really great . On this show there was a character named Jerry who was the kindly moron that every was mean to and heaped their abuse on - even the characters that were nice , which was what made it funny . If we've learned anything it's that true humor comes from people being sadistically tormented for no reason .

In episode Jerry retired and then every started being mean to the character ed by Aziz Anasari (remember when people liked him ? ) and when he asked Megan Mullally's husband why the response was "every office has a Jerry" . So he connived a way to get Jerry to come back to work so he would be the being abused . Which is a comedic premise every can enjoy .

My question to you is would you take a job that paid very well (however you define that) had full benefits , a pension , the whole nine yards - and your only job duty was to be around so people could treat you like shit ?

Did you know that the expression "the whole nine yards" come from an old story about a judge who hired a lady to make him shirts , which apparently required 3 yards of fabric each , but she was so stupid she used the whole nine yards to make giant shirt ? I didn't .

Back in the days of the Hittites there was a woman named Zibahethshut . And Zibahethshut baked bread on a day that you weren't supposed to bake bread on . Her motivations for doing so remain a mystery . This was before the Edict of Telipinus so the people in Zibahethshut's village went to the local authority figure and told them about the bread baking fiao . It was determined that in accordance with the law of the land she should be std to death . No knows why bread baking was forbidden on certain days but it must have been pretty important .

So a couple local ruffians drag Zibahethshut out of her house and knock her around a little bit just for fun as ruffians are want to do - taking her to the center of town for the stoning . Stoning was popular as a method of execution because that way no would know who actually killed the ste - it was a primitive form of crowdsourcing .

The villagers surrounded Zibahethshut and started chucking rocks at her , as was their tradition . Now for reasons that are not understood by modern people usually when people were being std they just let it happen . Seems insane to us now but this was more than thousand ago . Think about how different people were as little as 30 ago . Modern humans probably have more in common with visitors from outer space (if they exist) than they do with people from that long ago .

But Zibahethshut didn't do that . She did her best to avoid the sts and when the opportunity presented itself she threw a couple of them back . She crushed lady's kneecap with a rock and busted another guy in the face - at which point the circle of rock-throwers started to loosen up a little and she made a dash for freedom . And by freedom I mean she ran into the wilderness and most likely died but that's not the point .

The point is that she didn't go quietly . If you're fucked there's no reason not to try something right ? It probably won't work but if you're fucked you've got nothing to lose . Too many people seem to be resigned to bite the pillow and take their fucking when the lifefuckers come for them . Why not throw a few sts ? You're probably going to be fucked regardless but why not try ?

Dignity ? What good has that ever d any ? Can you eat it ? Does it protect you from inclement weather ? Can you make sweet , sweet love to it by the riverside on a starry night ? No . So why bother ? I say ream your head off like a crazy person , failing about wildly , making a complete spectacle of yourself . And if you survive you can get some more dignity later .
The Barmaid and the Cop
Posted:Apr 8, 2018 2:59 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2018 2:12 pm

The other day I saw a post on here called "The Barmaid and the Cop" I was hoping it was going to be a joke but I was expecting it to be erotica - mostly based on the use of the world barmaid , I feel like I don't encounter that word in non-joke non-erotica situations . It turned out to be neither . Evertheless I , 40Deuce , am used to taking matters into my own hands .

I present first the "joke"

One night the Barmaid was closing things up and the last customer in the bar was finishing up his whiskey and soda . The Barmaid noticed that he had a large case with him and as she was bustling around cleaning the place up she asked him what was in it . He said that he was a sex toy salesman and the Barmaid was pretty pumped about that because she was in the market for some new toys . She asked if he had a magic wand and he said that he did , opening up the case to show her what he had with him .

She picked out one she liked and looking at it perplexed asked here the on button was and he said "Oh , there is no button , it's actually magic - just say magic wand my pussy and it will do the rest ."

She was skeptical but he said she could try it out - she took it to the bathroom and to her surprise it worked just like she said . "Wow that was the best orgasm I ever had" she said and she bought the magic wand right then and there .

About an hour later after she had closed the bar down and was driving home she was on the phone talking to her boyfriend about her purchase and he was scolding her for wasting her money because he didn't believe it worked and she said "No I swear , I'll show you when I get home all you have to do is say 'magic wand my pussy' and it -" but she was interrupted because she had just said the magic words and the wand sprang into action .

It was such intense pleasure that she started driving erratically and ended up blowing through a stop sign and a police officer pulled her over . She rolled down her window and apologize but said that it wasn't her fault , explaining about the magic wand .

The cop rolled his eyes and said "Yeah right , magic wand my ass ."

I present now the "erotica"

The Barmaid was working late one night , alone , when two disreputable characters walked into the bar . "Sorry guys , we're closed" she said but they came in and took down two chairs and sat down anyway . She was getting a very bad vibe about the entire situation but only a moment later one of the local beat cops walked in . He was about to say something to the Barmaid but then he noticed the guys sitting there like they owned the place and they started eyeing each other . The Barmaid eased away towards the storeroom as they sized each other up . After a moment without a word being exchanged the two surly looking men got up and left .

"I'm so glad you came in" said the Barmaid to the officer "but why did you come in here ?"

He admitted that it was actually a mistake , the alarm at the hardware store had been tripped and it was the next door over . "But I'm glad I could be of assistance ma'ma" .

He turned to leave but the Barmaid said that she was still a little freaked out and asked if he could stay until she was ready to leave and walk her to her car in case those guys were hanging around outside . The officer checked his radio and confirmed that the hardware store was a false alarm and then he agreed to stay - he even helped her clean the place up .

He was a very good looking young guy and the Barmaid was so touched by his gentleness and chivalry that once they got to the car completely on impulse she took his head in her hands and kissed him full on the lips . She immediately felt embarrassed and tried to apologize but he said "No , I liked it" and took her in his arms , kissing her long and passionately .

After a moment the Barmaid took a step back "When is your shift over ?"

He smiled "Right now actually , and I was thinking with those dangerous characters in the area maybe I should escort you home as well ."

"Will you still respect me in the morning ?" asked the Barmaid .

"I sure hope not" he said and they both laughed .

Later at her place they're in the bedroom and things are getting hot and heavy . The cop was completely nude and the Barmaid was in her bra and panties . They paused for a moment the Barmaid bit her bottom lip slightly .

"I have something to tell you before I get naked" the Barmaid said , steeling herself "I have a really hair asshole . Normally I shave and pluck it religiously but I haven't been with anyone in a long time and I wasn't expecting . ."

He shook his head with a grin "Don't even worry about it , because it just so happens that I LOVE hair assholes on a lady ."

The Barmaid was about to accuse him of lying to make her feel better but just then she noticed the tattoo on his arm said was "I" a heart and "hair assholes" .

"Well have I got a treat for you" she said as she stripped all the way down to the buff .

He was suitably impressed by the thickness and fullness of her asshole hair but he pursed his lips "I have something you should know as well . When I was in high school I got really drunk one time and tried to get a porcupine to suck my dick and it bit my balls off . They were able to surgically reattach them but as a result when I get hard it's a little weird ."

"How so ?" asked the Barmaid .

"Only the last three inches get hard , the other five inches stay flaccid ."

"That is a bit weird" said the Barmaid and his face fell "but I'm into it" she finished and his grin returned .

And then they did it , the end .
Posted:Apr 7, 2018 7:34 am
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2018 2:24 pm

Sex isn't really that important , it's the closeness that's important . That's why I feel really great every time after sex a woman tells me "I was close" - it really makes me feel good .

.017 Bitcoin to the first person who can identify who I stole that bit from . From whom I mean .

Have you ever had a guy (or girl I guess is possible but seems unlikely) tell you how much he appreciated you having sex with him ? Back in the day one of my friends stayed with me for a while after getting out of the service and he brought a lady back to my place and they were in the process of hooking up despite the fact that I could hear everything . And he kept saying how long it had been and how thankful he was that she was doing this for him .

I think if I was a woman (I’m not right ? ) I would fine that very much a turn-off . I mean have some dignity . It’s like the old white men commenting on football say when the young black men playing football start carrying on in the endzone “act like you’re been there before” .

I jerked off once when they were banging away in the other room . I’m going to count that as a threeway .

Hancock was not a good movie . But it was a good idea . Because if you really had super powers you probably wouldn’t be very happy . I mean think how isolated you feel now sometimes – now magnify that but the fact that you really would be way different from anyone else . I feel the most realistic (as much as that term has meaning in this context) portrayals of superheroes are the ones where they’re very distant . When you have bulletproof skin and can fly around the world in 3 minutes and only breath once a decade how much can you really relate to Joe Sixpack and Sally Lunchpail ?

Plus check this shit out – any time anything bad happened you’d probably feel like you could have prevented it . Because you could have . As a whatever I am it’s easy to shrug those things off because there’s nothing I can do anyway . But when you’re Ultraman 8800 how would you ever find peace in this world ?

It gets into the age-old nerd discussion – is Superman a jerk for spending time pretending to be Clark Kent ? Some people feel that he should be out doing Superman shit 24/7 because he can . Other people feel that he deserves “downtime” as much as anyone else .

It’s a good thing in a way that Superman doesn’t exist , because imagine how you’d feel it something horrible happened in your sphere of influence and you knew that Superman could have prevented it but didn’t .

In no fewer than 5 different movies/TV shows has the "joke" been made about a hand model who fell in love with their own hand and masturbated themselves into some kind of physical harm . This is not funny because the key to humor is a kernel of truth - and the truth is no one wants a handjob that much .

A handjob is like a bar fight - if it starts happening I'm not going to leave , I'll see how it plays out , but it's not what I want .

As I've mentioned there's very few women at my new job - say what you want about Evil Corp Inc LLC they had a very diverse workforce (except in management of course) and I noticed today that the few women that are there get touched a lot . Dudes are often putting their arms around them or touching their shoulders or arms or whatnot . I think that's part of the reason why the whole vibe there seems so off to me because there was none of that at my old job . I mean none .

At Evil Corp Inc one time in a meeting a dude patted a lady on the hand and everyone's asshole shrunk up so quickly all the air was sucked out of the room and we almost suffocated .

It's just strange how unprofessional the culture is there .

You can't just go around touching people , this isn't France .
Thy Neighbor's Wife
Posted:Apr 4, 2018 6:08 pm
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2018 6:16 pm

Anyone read it ? Apparently it SHOCKED THE NATION back in '81 with it's eye-opening revelations about the sexual activities and proclivities of the American people . I wonder what book shocked Canada about their sexual activities . And Mexico .

If it's worth reading and you have a copy please send it to me and I'll send it back when I'm done . Thanks in advance .

Speaking of why doesn't AdultFriendFinder xmatch Sex Finder Site xmatch Sex Finder Site have a sex studies lending library ? Jerks .

In other news if my calculations are correct , biscuits and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food ; "monoiscuits" .

Does anyone else get overwhelmed with feelings of insignificance and futility when they're washing dishes and listening to Adele ? Maybe I should get a washing machine .
What happened to her shirt ?
Posted:Apr 3, 2018 5:45 pm
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2018 6:09 pm
Jenna Fischer . She seems like good people . Based on nothing really since she's a media famous person and not someone I know . I mean she was in Slither , that was cool . And who doesn't like the Office ? Some people , but you know what I mean .

But then .

She appeared on the Jimmy Kimmel show wearing a towel because the zipper on her dress broke .

At first blush this seems quirky and amusing .

But what happened to the shirt or top or blouse or whatever she was wearing on the way to the show ? She took SOMETHING off to put on that dress before the zipper broke right ? What became of that ?

Clearly this entire thing was a set-up .

Which is fine , if you want to appear on TV wearing a towel that's cool , whatever you want famous people - but don't pretend like it's an accident you know ?

For shame Jenna Fischer , for shame .
Are you wearing a bra ?
Posted:Apr 2, 2018 5:26 pm
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2018 6:18 pm
No . No you are not . Because millennials "killed" them . The internet said so . There are no more bras .

"But 40 what's holding up my breasts ?"

Isn't it obvious ? In a twist worthy of the Outer Limits , you are !

Have you been to a chain restaurant lately ? No you haven't because millennials killed those too . ALL chain restaurants are out of business . Applebee's , Olive Garden , Chipolte , Chili's , IHOP , McDonalds , Subway , Burger King , Taco Bell , Wendy's Chick-Fil-A , Panera , Sonics , etc. are all gone . The millennials saw to that . You have to had it to Sonic though for continuing to run commercials every 2 minutes .

If you think you've eaten at any of these places in the last few months, please , I implore you - seek mental health care because you are hallucinating wildly .

Do you live in a house ? No you don't because millennials killed homeownership . No one has a house anymore , not one single person . It's all over . Where do you live then ? I DON'T KNOW !!! Do we all just wander from work to our local artisan fair trade free-range avocado toast bar to the Apple store and then back to work in a continuous cycle ?

Other things you no longer have and never will again because millennials have killed them ;

Napkins (I guess we wipe our mouths with all those unused bras)
Beer (hard lemonade only - artisanal)
Sex (no wonder no one on here can get laid)
Breakfast (too much clean up , just artisanal hard cider and then use the bottle as a vase)
All sports (spin class only)
Cars and motorcycles (Uber that bitch ! )
Soap (I don't know , they use pine needles I guess ? Artisanal)
Marriage (makes sense , why get married if you can't have sex)
Washing your clothes (again without sex why bother ? )
Banks (cuz they got no money)
Department stores (this one I take issues with , they've been dying for a while - I think MY people can take credit for this kill)
Purses (just put your make up in your empty artisanal hard soda bottle)
Make-up (oh , never mind)
Gyms (wait , where they do they go for their spin classes ? )
Home improvement stores (Well yeah , they don't have homes)

My cousin once removed (or my second cousin ? dunno) was at Easter . He just graduated and he was pontificating on all the world's ills as only as 22 year old can . His smarmy know-it-allness used to annoy me mightily but now that he's out in the world trying to make a living I find it very amusing .

Maybe someone will pay for your in depth analysis of transgender issues jerk !

My grandma won Easter for sure . After his long discourse on why people have gender identity stress my aunt said "Well we don't have those issues in this family" and my grandma said "That you know of" and then to everyone's startled looks she said "I know all the family secrets" .

Bravo gam-gam . I always wondered about Aunt Steve .
Hey , I'm a feminist , so you know , suck my cock - with respect
Posted:Mar 31, 2018 1:12 pm
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2018 5:00 pm
Whenever a dude is talking about what a big feminist he is it always rings false to me . I suppose that's my own problem . A while back there was an SNL skit where all these men kept approaching this woman and saying some trendy pro-woman stuff and then going "So are we going to hook up ?" and then getting pissed when she said no . That's always kind of what it seems like to me .

When I logged on the other day the cam-girl they had on the home page was wearing a Netflix t-shirt . Which made me realize that's an in-tapped vector for advertising . Naked women on the internet should be covered with ads like the cars the racing-men drive on the Nascar . At they very least they should be covered with those temporary tattoos like the shitty boxers . This is America folks if we're looking at something , even giant fake tits , there should be some kind of ad on it .

Did you know that Denise Crosby AKA Lieutenant Yar from Star Trek was in Playboy ? I didn't . She had no ads on her nor giant fake tits but man alive that's good stuff . You could crack a walnut on that ass . On the other hand her turn on the Red Shoe Diaries was pretty unimpressive .

As part of my continuing search for a new way of life I looked up how much a butcher makes the other day . Don't read too much into it but I make TWICE as much as a good butcher . And while I can't really complain because it benefits me that doesn't seem right . A butcher provides something , what was once a dead body is now food , that's a worth something . I , like pretty much everyone with an office job , provide no one with nothing . If all the butchers in the world went on strike there would be no more meat and that would be bad . But most of us who make way more money , it literally doesn't matter if we do our jobs or not .

Its hard to reconcile that . I'm sure cubical farmers would say that I get paid more because my job is harder , which is technically true , but it's also meaningless . So . . . . meh ?

The other day a dude at work was telling a really sincere story about his brother and his battle with alcohol BUT he kept saying Triple A instead of AA and it didn't feel right to correct him because it was like a deeply personal thing . Although on the other hand if I had said "Wait the American Auto Alliance helped your brother with a 12 step program" maybe I wouldn't have had to listen to the dumb story about his brother .

There's this thing called the Software Alliance - IBM and Microsoft and the like fund this program were they offer you cash money to rat out the company you work for when they're out of compliance with their software licensing . I don't know how much they actually pay out but it seems pretty lucrative , starts at 5 grand and goes to ONE MILLION DOLLARS .

This seems mildly scummy and self-servicing but maybe if the SEC and places like that did the same thing people wouldn't look the other way so much .

The relatively morality isn't the point though , the point is how much would it take for you to snitch on your corporate overlords ? People are funny about this kind of thing , many people said they would "never" do such a thing and castigated me as being a "bad employee" for saying that I would . Which is insane . Here's the deal , if my company could make 1 million dollars by firing me I would be gone in a hot Texas minute . Their "loyalty" to me is they pay me some money to do a thing , the end .

And I return the favor . There's a lot of interesting forms of brainwashing that go on and the corporate flavor is one of the best . Seemingly smart and rational people talk about being "loyal" to their company when said company would sell them down the river instantaneously . It's quite something .

There's a trope on Twitter were people brag about something like saving a pelican from a fishing net and it comes to visit them every day . Well I performed CPR on a fangless cobra & we now brew beer together every Oktoberfest but you don't hear me bragging .

I have gone on record many times (almost TOO many you know what I mean ? ) as saying I would never engage the services of a prostitute because the price is way too high . But the other day a lady friend of my acquaintance was talking about how one time a former BF of hers racked up a $125 phone sex bill . And my first thought was "dang for that amount of cash why wouldn't you try to have real sex ?"

And I suppose there's a couple reasons . One is that calling a phone sex number is something you can argue is not "cheating" maybe not successfully but there's a discussion there . Putting your penis inside a hooker is a little more difficult .

Plus there's the legality . And the possibility of being pimpstabbed . And STD concerns .

On top of that there's a convenience factor - just picking up a phone rather than going down to the corner of Fuller and Wabash and trolling for street walkers .

I guess too maybe you could say that calling a phone sex line is less damaging to society than supporting the sex trade .

The point is that I am not going to spend money on sex acts but if I was going to spend $125 dollars on a sex act I would want a lot more than a bored housewife reading a script .

Anyway my question is this , when your sex droll or mannequin or sex-robot or whatever the heck was going on Weird Science comes to life ala Kim Catrell/Kelly LaBrock what is its level of knowledge ? I mean in theory it shouldn't know anything , but that's never how it works . Your sex doll probably can't perform an appendectomy but can it drive a car ? If it can where did that knowledge come from ? Where does this basic level of knowledge come from ?

I suppose maybe even before it comes to life it's somehow observing and learning something things that way ?

I mean I don't want my sex doll to come to life if I'm going to have to teach it all kinds of stuff . Besides being annoying that gets into a weird territory you know ?

In conclusion I finally finished the first season of Star Trek The Next Generation . It was terrible . I figured out why they killed Yar though , it was 1988 , people couldn't handle a woman being the chief of security and tactical officer - she had to go . Leaving the only women on the crew the super-femmy doctor and counselor , appropriate woman jobs .

I loved it of course but I am ALL about female empowerment . Now bend over and spread your cheeks .
Don't make a fuss
Posted:Mar 30, 2018 5:11 pm
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2018 1:13 pm

Every's got their thing . Maybe it's a break-up . A death . And accident . Whatever it is you used to be thing . Now you're something else . We all have our own problems . Our own issues . Our own demons .
The pornification of the Pornited States of Pornerica
Posted:Mar 27, 2018 4:41 pm
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2018 12:32 pm
If I can mean for a minute (and I feel like I can since this is the internet) it's insane how many 'kind, open-minded, sweet, loving affectionate women" with "a great sense of humor and passion" there are on AdultFriendFinder xmatch Sex Finder Site xmatch Sex Finder Site when I've only met a couple in real life . Truly the cream of the crop are on AdultFriendFinder xmatch Sex Finder Site xmatch Sex Finder Site .

The girl Flo Rida sings about in Low was wearing apple bottom jeans , boots with the fur , baggy sweatpants AND reeboks with the straps all at the same time so we must conclude that she was , in fact , a centaur . Which explains why she was attracting so much attention in the club .

People preach about teamwork and I guess it's kind of okay but here is what a horse looks like when drawn using teamwork ;

Speaking of teamwork I was in a meeting today and I realized that in my new job 95% of the employees are dudes . Maybe that's just how IT works - if you have daughters make sure you pressure them into STEM careers . My old office may have been part of an evil corrupt enterprise but they had diversity on lock . Except in management of course .

Speaking of work realistically I didn't think there was a way I could hate myself more (obviously it was possible if you think about implausible scenarios) but my new job has taught me that I can . Towards that end I've started reading a book about how the normalization of watching porn is one of the many things contributing to our OBVIOUS decline as a society . As society has OBVIOUSLY been declining since history started being recorded .

This book makes the claim , as many sources do , that if you like shaved pussies you're one step away from being a pedo . Since I like shaved pussies obviously I don't care for this theory . Because if even if it's true what I am supposed to do with that information ? I can't stop liking shaved pussies .

I don't know about anyone else but here's my counter-argument . Hair is gross . Do you want hair in your mouth ? Because I don't . Imagine that you're on your sweet leather couch making out with some dude and he starts nuzzling your hair - and then the next thing you know he's sucking on your hair and licking all up on your scalp . What would you do ? I tell you what you'd do , you'd grab your Custom Handmade Fixed Blade Tactical Tanto Tracker Knife with Maple Burl Handle out of your purse and you'd jam it into that guy (or gal)'s neck because hair doesn't go in your mouth . And then the police would show up and they'd ask what happened and you'd say "he (or she) was licking my hair" and they'd say "we understand" and they'd take the body for you and toss it in the river and forget about the whole thing .

And answer me this smarty-pants psychology professor that wrote that book and isn't reading this - why don't you say the same thing about women shaving their legs ? Or their armpits ? Or any of the ten thousand other places women remove hair ? Huh ? Huh ? Not so big now are you ?

I've never heard anyone be castigated for liking shaved legs . Well I have , but not for that reason .

Have you ever heard people , of any gender , talk about a woman who had a single hair on her nipple ? UNACCEPTABLE !!!! If you're a woman with hair nipples you're basically shunned from society can cast out to live on the island of Dr. Moreau where you're definitely going to the House of Pain because you don't even know the Law .

Hairy nipples = forbidden

Hairless pussies = you're a psycho

That math doesn't add up .

"Well 40 if that was true you'd like a woman who shaved her head !"

I would love that ! A woman with a shaved head really turns me on because I am anti-hair . Hair is disgusting animal bullshit and I an ashamed to be the upright ape that I am rather a sleek , smooth dolphin-man . I'd wax my whole body if society didn't say it was weird for a man to do it .

My main point is this . I basically agree that porn is bad and I shouldn't watch it (and yet I do) but what's the plan of action ? Even if we outlaw all the porn and get rid of it that doesn't change the fact that me and lots of scum-suckers like me WANT to watch it . Where's the root cause analysis ? Even if we agree porn has all these bad effects on society they're not going to go away if the demand is still there right ? It's like being a dry drunk right ? Even when you don't have access to booze that doesn't solve whatever made you want to get black out drunk 247365 right ?

It's like this , I am in no way against gun control legislation , but even if we get all the guns out of the hands of the "bad" people they're still out there . They still WANT to shoot everyone even if they can't . What's being done about that ? Treat the symptoms , sure , but what about the disease ?

Meanwhile , wrestling ;

American Light
Posted:Mar 26, 2018 6:05 pm
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2018 4:13 pm

I don't see a division between the Left and the Right . The division I see is between the people that like the country divided and the rest of us . I see it everywhere I go . I see it in our schools , where they teach us that we're all the same because they're threatened by what makes us unique . I see it in our streets, where they give us guns , so we are too busy fighting each other to fight real injustice . I see it in our factories , where we work for a fraction of the bosses salary even though it takes everyone working together to make the product . The country's problem isn't outraged right-wingers or outraged left-wingers . The country's problem is the people feeding on the country's death . But I've got a message for them from the people keeping it alive , a message from the people that believe in this country : you're outnumbered .

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