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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Frankenstein VS Dracula VS Mr. Darcy
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Frankenstein VS Dracula VS Mr. Darcy Let's say you buy a pair of socks . You take on sock and lightly irradiate it . You put the pair of socks into your normal sock rotation . Then , after a year you measure how radioactive your feet are . Do you think it would be roughly the same or would one foot have been more exposed ? Do we subconsciously tend to put one sock in a pair on a particular foot ? How many times in a row do you think you've put a particular sock on the same foot ? As you all know I've never seen the Wizard of Oz , but it's in the culture enough that I know the story . At the end the "wizard" is revealed to be a shoe salesman from Dayton , Ohio but he still gives the 4 brave companions their wishes . The Scarecrow wishes to be smart so the "wizard" gives him a Harvard diploma . Let's dissect that a little . First of all that doesn't make you smart , that just sort of gives you the opportunity to make people think you're smart . But really it doesn't even do that because it's not his name on the diploma . Did the Scarecrow even have a name ? I guess the idea is he can tell people that's his name ? But what good is a Harvard diploma in Oz anyway ? The Oozians don't know or care what Harvard is or isn't . Do they even have a education system ? So what ? Is the Scarecrow supposed to come to our world and try to get a job ? Because I don't see that going well Harvard diploma or not . Also I feel like Harvard would quickly establish that a sentient Scarecrow did not in fact graduate from their university . What would even happen if a Scarecrow man from another dimension came here ? People would freak out obviously but after that is there really any use for a dude made of straw and gunnysacks ? He's resistant to blunt force trauma , there's probably a use for that . What's his deal anyway ? Is he magic or what ? What's the backstory ? Like if he shows up is everyone like "oh , I guess magic is real" ? What would the religious people say about it ? I assume he never gets old or sick or anything so that would be something . Maybe he'd be a good historian - in the sense that he's technically immortal so at least he was around for a lot of stuff . The Lion wanted courage so I assume the "wizard" gave him an assault rifle - that seems to put steel in people's spines . What I don't know is what he gave the tin woodsman who wanted emotions . There's really nothing you can do there right ? I mean no matter how good a salesman you are what are you going to tell someone about having no emotions ? Yesterday was Leonardo DiCaprio's 44th birthday , sneaky old that guy - I never would have guessed he was older than me . In honor of this event I will now review his biggest movies - What's Eating Gilbert Grape - Never saw it The Quick and the Dead - It was an okay Western , it leaned pretty heavily on "the protagonist is a woman ! isn't that crazy ! " but hey it was 1995 what do you want ? Pretty by the books stuff but not bad . The Basketball Diaries - Never saw it Romeo and Juliet - Never saw it Marvin's Room - Never saw it Titanic - Never saw it The Man in the Iron mask - Never saw it The Beach - Never saw it Catch Me if You Can - Never saw it Gangs of New York - Never saw it The Aviator - Never saw it The Departed - Never saw it Blood Diamond - Never saw it Body of Lies - Never saw it Revolutionary Road - Never saw it Shutter Island - Never saw it Inception - This was a pretty good movie that I don't remember him being in . I actually don't remember any of the actors except the from 3rd Rock and the Ken Watanabe . Oh , and the chick from Juno - they made a big deal about that and then she was barely in the movie and did jack shit . I downgrade this movie somewhat because people went a little too gaga over it . The whole dream thing isn't that insane . I put it in the same category as the Matrix - it's pretty good but people give it way too much credit for blowing their minds . I think a lot of people are easily blown . I remember the part at the end where the never turn to face camera really freaked me out after a while . Not sure why exactly but the fact that you never saw their faces really creeped me . J Edgar - Never saw it Great Gatsby - Never saw it Wolf of Wall Street - never saw it The Revenant - I've had it on DVR for over a year and I do want to see it , but who has time ? I'm not one of those people that seems weirdly proud about having a shitty attention span but I will admit that sitting down at home to watch a movie doesn't appeal to me so much . Going to a movie , sure , that's a thing , but when I'm at home two hours seems like too much laying around . 40 you watch movies all the time , you admitting to watching Wrath of Khan like twice a month . Counterpoint - shut up . I never realized until now now many of Leo's movies I haven't seen - and he's a pretty bankable star . Part of it is probably because one of my friends hates him for some reason but in general he just must not make the kind of movies I like . There are a lot of people that seem to hate Leo but I'm not sure why . People hate Tom Cruise because he's super Scientology-ee but what's the issue with Leo ? I guess he is kind of Hollywood -douchey . The best thing ever on Carpool Karaoke is the entire Adele episode but the second best thing is the Jennifer Lopez episode where Corden gets a hold of her phone and is texting Leo . The idea of Leo and J-Lo palling around and going clubbing just tickles me . What could they possibly have in common ? If the media has taught me anything it's that celeb that hang out always bang at some point - and I tell you what that's a sex tape I'd pay to see . Sure , mostly for J-Lo , but the dude has grossed more than 5 billion at the box office - that's got to be worth something . Also I feel like Leo has either a comically small or an impressively large unit for some reason . It would hands down be the biggest celebrity sex tape ever . I mean since most of them are "celebrity" sex tapes . What's the competition ? Paris Hilton - nobody - and some rando ? C-Listers Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee ? Leo and J-Lo would destroy that noise . Paris Hilton admitted her sex tape was all a planned hype machine but what was the story with Pammy and Tommy ? How did that come about ? You can't sell a "movie" of someone without their permission right ? Putting it on the internet is one thing , but AVN or someone was selling the actual tape - so that means they had to be on board right ? I mean who owns the right to a sex tape ? Is Tommy Lee still alive or did he die of a staph infection yet ? Sometimes when I get sad I think that there was a time when Pam Anderson and Rock were married and that time is over and then I feel better . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Baywatch lifeguards Mitch, C.J., Stephanie, Caroline, Matt and Logan travel to Ohau, Hawaii for a much needed vacation and get caught up in a series of mis-adventures. Stephanie teams up with a local lifeguard while a bumbling photographer, named Carlton with an incredible amount of bad luck, causes problems for everyone when the bad luck rubs off on some of them. Meanwhile, Logan becomes obsessed with competing in a surfing competition and leaving no time with Caroline. When C.J. is unexpectedly called back to Baywatch, Mitch and Matt take a boat trip to a remote part of Kauai where they get stranded after Matt gets stung by a poisonous scorpion fish, and they end up in a remote village of local Hawaiians gone native. Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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Here's the important part of Scarecrow getting his diploma..... The Wizard of Oz: Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a diploma. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Good explanation, BJ. Basically the premise for all three characters is that during the course of the plot they demonstrate that they actually have the thing that they *think* they don't have. So all the Wizard had to do was give them a totem to make them believe that they had what they thought they were missing (which is actually pretty much in line with the Wizard being a conman). I believe the Wizard gave the Tin Man a little satin stuffed heart.   
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