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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
A blog of historical significance
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A blog of historical significance I'm changing my profile because even though it 100% doesn't matter what I have on there it was sending the wrong message . But this story needs to be preserved so I post it here for future generations of digital archeologists to enjoy . When I was a one time I was playing baseball and I got walked so I took my base . I'm there on 1st and after a moment I realize that the pitcher is just standing there on the mound holding the ball , hand on hip , looking at me . Just looking at me . And I wonder "What's this guy's problem ?" And he just keeps eyeballing me . And I realize - does this dude think I'm going to try and steal second ? On a walk ? What the hell ? But he just keeps staring at me so eventually I think "Alright buddy you want to get nuts ? Let's get nuts !" So I take off for second while he's looking right at me . It's like he was daring me to do it . He has me dead to rights , all he has to do is toss the ball to second and I'm out by a mile . But when I make my move his eyes get all wide like a cartoon wolf seeing a sexy lady and he panics - he sails the ball over the second baseman's head . I'm heading into second free as a bird and I peek into the outfield . There's some kind of confusion out there and nobody has the ball . So I think "To hell with it , I'm going for third !" and around the corner I come . As I'm heading to third the base coach there is losing his god damn mind - he's waving for me to head home like a frightened babysitter trying to swat a bat with a tennis racket . The crowd is going insane . They're about to see a home run on walk . This is something that has NEVER happened in the 230 year history of baseball on any level . No the pros , not the minor leagues , not college , this has never happened ever . I am going to be on Sportscenter . Sports Illustrated is going to interview me . This is going to be the moment . I've got my head down and my arms chugging and I'm pumping my crazy legs like there's a mutant bear after me . The throw comes in from center field like a rocket - that dude chucked that thing like a protestor throwing a rock at the G8 summit . It came in on a rope and the catcher was right there . I slide , there's a play at the plate and I beat the tag ! PAN-DE-MONIUM . People are screaming and high fiving and almost falling out of their acid wash shorts . It's at this point that the umpire informs me that that was only ball 3 . The reason the pitcher was staring at me is because I should not have been there . So I have to get back up to bat with two strikes and immediately strike out on the next pitch . That incident is me in a nutshell . Although I learned a valuable lesson , if you're gonna go , you go all the way - maybe you're wrong and maybe you're right but it'll be exciting either way. PS I am not exciting Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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"Signifigance" is almost as annoying as "incel".  
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 Luv'd this one! 
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I just finished reading "From Godzilla to Geiko: A History of Famous Lizards" and chapter 3 was talking about this lizard in Iowa - I think his name was Curtis - and he was about to be killed but then this human came along and Saved. His. Life. He later became a doctor. I didn't realize that was you! I've never done anything that important. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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